"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile) 09/12/2019 at 12:14 • Filed to: None

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“This is Melanie from the dealer processing department. We are calling because we sent you a final courtesy notice that your warranty has expired.”

Would that be the warranty on the ‘87 with 400,000 miles, the ‘66 British import, or one of the ‘63 Fords...

Wait, I know. It’s the ‘59 Lincoln that totally had a 50 year/50,000 mile warranty. Gosh, guess I let that one slip.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 12:25

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You could have fun with this one if you had the time to waste. 

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 09/12/2019 at 12:34

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“Well, gosh, Leroy Harrell’s should have told me about the Rover, but they went out of business back around ‘99, and since it was bought in Wisconsin I don’t think I ever changed dealers...”

“Is it okay if I return the Lincoln to Wixom for service if the Wixom plant isn’t there anymore?”

“Oooh, I didn’t realize when I brought the Benz in for the 500,000 kilometers award paperwork they put me on file. Now that’s service!”

“Well, the Ford’s seat covers are coming apart, but a letter suffix on the trim code means it’s warranty-coverable, so there you go...”

“Can I get some remediation on the Ranchero? I think the floorboards rotted out about 40 years ago.”

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 12:34

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BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Chariotoflove 09/12/2019 at 12:35

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I did that just yesterday.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 09/12/2019 at 12:38

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also this

WilliamsSW > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 12:38

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Like any of your cars ever had a warranty to begin with.

Maybe you   should ask her for a quote on extending the warranty. On the Lincoln. 

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 09/12/2019 at 12:38

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I am become wrench, destroyer of warranty.

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 12:39

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The last time they called me they said they wanted to speak to me about my factory warranty. I told them “I’ m sorry, I don’t have a factory, you must have me confused with someone else. Goodbye.”

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > WilliamsSW 09/12/2019 at 12:41

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Hey, my Benz had a warranty held by an owner only one step removed. It was a CPO when my great-uncle had it, I believe . Granted said warranty ate it ~25 years ago. I think the Galaxie’s warranty was 3 years, so that’s... well, it’s been a while.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 09/12/2019 at 12:42

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Ah, ambiguous language.

shop-teacher > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 12:46

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I missed a phone call from Al Piemonte Buick GMC last night. Since I never set up my voicemail, I guess I’ll never know what marketing BS I missed out on. I can only assume I missed out on more or less this conversation:

“We have a customer looking for a truck just like yours”

“Really? 13 years old and slightly rusty?”

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > shop-teacher 09/12/2019 at 12:50

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“-looking for a car just like yours” if I was ever told this:

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 12:54

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Oh would you? Those  would make my day.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 09/12/2019 at 13:04

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“My car’s warranty? My car? Listen, buddy. I don’t own cars. I own relics. Sacred ancient relics from times and holy wars and pilgrimages ago. The dusty bones of epic cars laid forgotten in graves until I grabbed them for my fucking reliquary . These things are holy ancients full of rust holes, and I will not have you defile my sacred fucking temple by talking about replacing them. These are cars so old and withered they crinkle when they drive, and they’re wiser and older than your ditz grandma. MIGHTY LEGENDS.”

/deranged logorrhic troll off

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 14:21

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You’ll lose them with SAT words like reliquary. But points from me.

MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > HammerheadFistpunch 09/12/2019 at 15:42

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This is hilarious and I am ashamed to say I have used it personally 

MKULTRA1982(ConCrustyBrick) > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/12/2019 at 15:44

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Me when I finally buy a car from the present decade